I recently interviewed for the opening of my girlfriend with her parents.
By that I mean I met my girlfriend’s parents and decided to give them a resume I made for the purpose of applying to be her boyfriend, because I am a crazy person. They did not enjoy reading this fake resume I made as much as I enjoyed making it, and you know for the life of me, I cannot understand why not. How about you take a look over it and tell me why.
2730 Pickle Road, Akron, Ohio 42069 (330)-769-8==> firstname.lastname@example.org
- 2010-Present, graduated May 2014 with an Associate of Farts degree, expected graduation December 2016 for a Bachelors of Getting Laid degree. GPA: 3.69
Related Work Experience
Boyfriend, Akron, Ohio – August 25, 2012 to September 10, 2013
- Performed boyfriend activities including listening, talking, consoling, meeting relatives, giving gifts, supporting pursuits and interests as well as high-fiving.
Son/Grandson/Brother, Akron, Ohio – July 26, 1995 to Present
- Engaged directly with mother/grandmother/sister to learn and understand problems as well as resolve issues and achieve growth.
Had a Cardboard Cutout Made of Myself, Akron, Ohio – March 5, 2016 to Present
- Photo attached.
- Using Sierra, Microsoft Office, Genesis, Adobe.
-Can Partially Sing Sophie B. Hawkins Hit Single “Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover.”
-Is working on doing a wicked kick-flip.
-Good at Crying.
- “What a Kind Boy Award” – Awarded by Grandmother, Fall 2010 to Summer 2015
- “Pretty Good Doing Sex – 2016” Award, given to self by self.
References Available Upon Request
Thank you and I’m sorry.