• PressureCast
  • Teach These Devils
I recently interviewed for the opening of my girlfriend with her parents.

By that I mean I met my girlfriend’s parents and decided to give them a resume I made for the purpose of applying to be her boyfriend, because I am a crazy person. They did not enjoy reading this fake resume I made as much as I enjoyed making it, and you know for the life of me, I cannot understand why not. How about you take a look over it and tell me why.

Chad Weaver

2730 Pickle Road, Akron, Ohio 42069 (330)-769-8==> radbeaver69@hotmail.com


The Streets

  • 2010-Present, graduated May 2014 with an Associate of Farts degree, expected graduation December 2016 for a Bachelors of Getting Laid degree. GPA: 3.69
Related Work Experience

Boyfriend, Akron, Ohio – August 25, 2012 to September 102013

  • Performed boyfriend activities including listening, talking, consoling, meeting relatives, giving gifts, supporting pursuits and interests as well as high-fiving.

Son/Grandson/Brother, Akron, Ohio – July 26, 1995 to Present

  • Engaged directly with mother/grandmother/sister to learn and understand problems as well as resolve issues and achieve growth.

Had a Cardboard Cutout Made of Myself, Akron, Ohio – March 5, 2016 to Present

  • Photo attached.

-Computer Experience

  • Using Sierra, Microsoft Office, Genesis, Adobe.

-Can Partially Sing Sophie B. Hawkins Hit Single “Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover.”

-Is working on doing a wicked kick-flip.

-Good at Crying.

  • “What a Kind Boy Award” – Awarded by Grandmother, Fall 2010 to Summer 2015
  • “Pretty Good Doing Sex – 2016” Award, given to self by self.
References Available Upon Request

Thank you and I’m sorry.


Platform Beer Co
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