Pressure Top 10 – Impossible Cavs Feats

After setting an NBA record by coming back from a 26 point deficit in Game 3 of the Playoffs, the Cavs are never not surprising us with the impossible. So join us again as we rip off David Letterman with this week’s Top 10: Impossible Cavs Feats

Top Ten Impossible Cavs Feats

10) LeBron’s chase down blocks so fast he stuffs opponents before they’re born

This, moments after rescuing Margot Kidder

9) Kyrie Irving proves Earth flat by breaking its ankles in transition

8) Team becomes so good at comebacks they retroactively win the 2015 Championship during halftime

And yet they don’t warn DeNiro about “Dirty Grandpa”

7) Spank Steph Curry so bad they wean him off his pacifier

because New Balance and water filters only do business with tough guys…

6) Tristan Thompson, only athlete not irrevocably broken after exposure to Kardashians

Well… maybe the jury’s still out on this one.

5) Kevin Love spreads floor so wide a fault line splits the arena in half

“gonna show her my ‘ohhhhhh…’ face.”

4) Moondog and Sir CC finally tie the knot in small ceremony with t-shirt cannons and trampolines

The bridal shower is registered at Gary’s Felt Emporium

3) After successful colonoscopy, Austin Carr able to finally “get that weak stuff outta here”

So that’s what he meant about all those “burst pipes”…

2) Entire team finds parking at West Side Market on Sunday afternoon

And that’s when taking the Championship parade float!

And the number one impossible feat by the Cavs…

1) Accompanied NBA Commissioner, Adam Silver, to pits of Mordor in order to destroy his “precciousss”

although Gollum has more of a tan

 


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  • Adam Dodd

    Content Strategist, novelist and prolific roustabout who drinks entirely too much coffee. You can find him on Twitter @therealadamdodd

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