Pressure Top Ten: Andrew Bogut Secrets

The Cavalier’s latest acquisition is Australian big man, Andrew Bogut. Before he was one of the good guys he faced off against us in the Championships of both 2015 and 2016. Reckoning he must have learned something while that side of the bridge, join us as we, once again, rip off David Letterman with this week’s Top Ten Andrew Bogut Secrets!

 

Top Ten Andrew Bogut Secrets

10. Draymond Green’s “A-B-A-B-LEFT-RIGHT-UP-DOWN” Super Crotch Kick combo

9. Had to settle with “Golden State” after trademark dispute with the California Raisins

8. Golden State still interviewing Gotham super villains to take out Kyrie Irving

7. Steph Curry is really three babies standing on each other’s shoulders

6. Warrior’s mascot still missing after wood glue and honey badger mishap of ‘96

5. League bylaws required production of at least ten catapults per year to retain name

4. Kevin Durant signing stipulation- ‘80s soft rock legend, Chris de Burg’s “Lady In Red” to play at all times in locker room

3. Steve Kerr; actually Earth 2’s Neal Patrick Harris

2. Actually won Game 7 for the Warriors but LeBron James altered timeline after punching a hole through reality like Superboy Prime in DC’s Infinite Crisis

And this week’s number one Andrew Bogut Secret…

1. Technically, not really “Golden” but “ Interior Sample #A447” Warriors

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  • Content Strategist, novelist and prolific roustabout who drinks entirely too much coffee. You can find him on Twitter @therealadamdodd

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