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Pressure Top Ten: Other Q Improvements

Cavs owner and all around super-rich guy, Dan Gilbert, wants more cash his House of Swish, The Q. So, join us once again as we rip of David Letterman with–

 

The Top Ten Other Q Improvements

 

10) Lettering on jerseys now in “The Letter” comic sans

9) The LeBron James cloning initiative

8) Fresh supply of pacifiers when Steph Curry comes to town

7) Arena renamed after Star Trek character, Q, sues for copyright infringement

6) Each broadcast will feature Austin Carr to English translations

5) Mascots, Sir C. C. and Moondog, will compete in halftime steel cage matches

4) T-shirt cannon now licensed from Department of Defense

3) Fans get to guess which cheerleader’s pom-pom is actually Anderson Varejao’s scalp

2) Humongotron adds 50 square feet; renamed the “Smallpenistron”

And now, the number one other improvement to the Q…

1) New glass façade installed to capture the full reflection of Dan Gilbert’s ego

Platform Beer Co
  • Content Strategist, novelist and prolific roustabout who drinks entirely too much coffee. You can find him on Twitter @therealadamdodd

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