Last week, The Cleveland Indians were going to acquire Milwaukee Brewers catcher, Jonathan Lucroy, until he waived the offer at the last minute. While he claims the decision came from wanting more playing time, PressureLife has its own theories. Join us as we totally rip off David Letterman for this week’s PressureLife Top Ten!

Top Ten Reasons Jonathan Lucroy Waived his Indians Trade…

 

10) At twenty one games behind first place in their division, Lucroy didn’t want to leave the Brewers while they were on a hot streak

 

9) A Pokemon Go! fanatic, Lucroy was disappointed to hear he was playing with Danny Salazar and not what he first overheard, “Damn! A Charzard!”

 

8) Too close to Parma

 

7) Carlos Baerga and Paul Assenmacher kept showing up at his house at 3am with a case of Keystone Light, wanting to talk about the “glory days…”

 

6) Ghost of Nap Lajoie not paying rent, still sleeping on couch and eating everyone else’s takeout.

 

5) No longer talking to Terry Francona- in Milwaukee, a “Manager’s Minute” means something else entirely.

 

4) Was actually following a trade route to the Calcutta West Indians but got lost and figured, “screw it, close enough.”

 

3) Had a messy breakup up with the Onions from the Condiment Races.

 

2) Upset Jethro Tull is still not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

 

And the number 1 reason Jonathan Lucroy waived his Indians trade…

1) Slider’s last name… Dahmer

 

 

 

Platform Beer Co
  • Adam Dodd

    Content Strategist, novelist and prolific roustabout who drinks entirely too much coffee. You can find him on Twitter @therealadamdodd

  • Show Comments

You May Also Like

They’ll Give You the Shirts Right Off Their Backs

[intro-text size=”25px”]Whether you are at The Q, Progressive Field, FirstEnergy Stadium, or a bar ...

Pressure Spotlights: Comic Heaven

Owning and operating a small business is challenging. In a market where digital media ...

Now Streaming: The Man in the High Castle

Author Philip K. Dick has not only written some of my favorite novels and ...