PressureLife Top Ten: Other Blue Jays Conspiracy Theories

Earlier this week, we examined Jose Bautista’s conspiracy theory on why they are playing so poorly against the Cleveland Indians. But what other wild conspiracy theories are the Toronto Blue Jays harboring? With that in mind, we, once again, rip of David Letterman with our PressureLife Top 10.

 

-Top Ten: Other Blue Jays Conspiracy Theories-
10) After you convert the score to the Metric System, they’re actually up three games to one
9) Former Indians GM Mark Shapiro only took the front office job in Toronto to serves as a mole
8) Slider is an illegal alien
7) Free falcon giveaway day done solely because they’re blue jays’ natural predator
6) Given our team’s name, we should really be competing in the Calcutta World Series
5) Chief Wahoo was formerly known as Chief Reasonable until he went off his medication
4) Our Toronto domination is part of a continued effort to embarrass Drake
3) Their defeat is the first step in creating a beachhead for the mass migration once Trump wins
2) Trevor Bauer’s injured finger first step in grafting bionic exoskeleton to Indians pitchers
And the number one other Blue Jays conspiracy theory…
1) Four words: Bob Feller’s frozen head

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  • Adam Dodd

    Content Strategist, novelist and prolific roustabout who drinks entirely too much coffee. You can find him on Twitter @therealadamdodd

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